Merry Christmas

So my family came over today for brunch and to take family pictures. Oh how i am so blessed with my family. Although everyone is growing up so fast it still feels great to hug my cousins<3

I love you.

James 1:12 <3

So my friend billy gave me this verse over spring break.
And at first when I looked it up it made no sense to me nor did I want to know what It meant. I guess I was just being stubborn and I put it away for a while.
Well I found the note billy gave me with the verse and I looked it up
and it said this " Blessed is the Man Who perserveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will recieve the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him".

MHM<3

I need to keep blogging.

My life becomes better when i pour my emotions out. Well, I am home. Back in New York on a fish shaped island. It was pretty Long and now i just crave a cup of tea. I'm thinking about treating myself out to dinner since my mom, dad, and nana are all going to a party. Which i guess i'm still concerded a Kid since i was not invited. That's okay. I will have my own party here with my 4 cats and a huge tv.

May i just say i really don't like xanga anymore. It's a pain and i feel so juveinel with it. Sorry charity! <3

But that's just me.
It's actually quite freezing here.
the island is covered in snow
and more snow is on the way.
JOY!
I love christmas <3

daddy daddy don't go

Daddy Daddy don't leave
I'll do anything to keep you
Right here with me
Can't you see how much I need you
Father listen
Tell him that he's got a home
and he don't have to go
Father save him
I would do anything in return
I'll clean my room
Try hard in school
I'll be good
I promise you
Father, Father
I pray to you


Please don't leave me.
I'm sorry that i said those things.
I'm sorry i tried to push you away.
Please don't walk out on me.
I just want to please you.
I want to be your princess.
I want to know my daddy.
Please.
Don't walk out on me.

SCREAMING MY HEART OUT

JUST SO I CAN LIVE

Face.

Beauty
pagents
kids
playground
broken bones
death
misery
paramore
band
music
life
baby's
family
I love you
true love?
exists
will i ever find it
hide and seek
games
board
wood
carpenter
jesus
Christ
savior
cross
necklaces
<3

venting!

I cried a little bit when i was on the phone with my mom
but then when my dad came on the phone, i just balled.
I don't like being away from the only people who can stand me when i'm
at my worst.
And believe me they have seen me at my worst!

But i'm in pain, which is so excruting i cry at night.
NO JOKE!
But i did go to the chichropractor and he did adjust me, but he said
that he wasn't going to rule out Kidney stones.
I almost cried when he said that.

I just want this pain our of me.
I want to work out
I want to do stuff
I WANT TO BREATH WITHOUT SAYING OW!

I want people to love me for me
I want to live for jesus christ.
I really don't like being in a season.

Oh i found a new way to vent.
So i might at as well...

Jealousy
Green
Ivy
Poison
Rats
Nutcracker
Old Fasioned
Style
paris hilton
scandal?
sandel
beach
waves
sun
breeze
young jeezy
rap
degrading
CSI
crime solving
labs
science
Test tubs
babies
parents
controlling?
remote
t.v
the office
dwight
d. eisenhower
america?
flag
pirates
peter pan
tinker bell
lost boys
pixie dust
broom and pale
blues clues
jazz band
trumpet
solo's
one
alone
lonely
just me =(

there ya go.
i love this new way to vent.
my friend showed me that
and today at Hoss's we played link which
is kind of how i vented.
So yes.
It's beautiful and yet helps me vent.
K good night!

how can?

Someone you were once "in love" with move on so fast?
It makes you think, if your good enough, or if your beautiful or worth it.
Although he wasn't anything close to perfect and
was the biggest jerk ever.
It still makes you think if your guy is out there.
If someone who thinks your so captiviating is out there waiting for you.
I wonder.......



alot

Dear best friends,

i love you so much.
You are incredible
I can't believe i have been blessed with such a great friend.
and i can't believe that we've been through almost everything and yet
still love each other just as much as we did before.

I love you so so so much<3

MY best friends
nicole.elise.cochrane.
matt.ragusa.
joe.cornetta.
nick.thomas.guider

Thanksgiving

was pretty much a downer this year.
Just drama all around.
I'm feeling down
and im struggling with being away from masters.
I forgot everything i learned
I havent' prayed for an hour.
I'm just wanting to be alone!

I can't wait for monday when i can go to my favorite spot and be with God for a long long long time.

I pray christmas will be better.

I'm tired of...

I'm getting tired of this genertaion of friends. This generation where being brittany spears is okay, or living your life on the edge is fine and dandy. Where turning your back on your friends just to fit in and be cool is now a way of life. When 14 year olds think that they know everything and anything and try to gain power over adults. Where they are too scared to actually stand up for something whether it's thier life or determining their future. No i am not talking about 2008 election. Where kids are to scared to open up thier mouths defending themselves but they will open up their mouth in a heartbeat if it's going to drag someone down. I want to see a change in this generation. I want to feel a revolution!

It's been a while

It's been a while since i last wrote in this.
It's been a couple days, a week maybe?
anyway, i saw my family yesterday. No not long island
but the ones who live in Camp Hill and I must say it felt absoutly
amazing to be around them. Especially since i haven't seen some of them in a while.
Like my cousins, Jordan, Jenna, Corinne and Gracie. <3
Oh those girls, wow i've missed parts of their life and i wish i haven't.
But now since i'm in pennsylvania I can catch up with them.

I love my family <3
so muchh

hey guess what?!

I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU.
I CAN SAY THIS TO EVERYONE FOREVER.
I CAN'T EXPLAIN WHY I CAN SAY "I LOVE YOU NOW"
BUT GOD'S WORKING IN ME AND ALL I WANT TO JUST TELL PEOPLE IS THAT I LOVE THEM
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU <3

Obama

Won.
not too happy about it.
but i'm just having faith.
that's honestly all we can do.
Is pray and have faith in God.

God <3
i pray this is all apart of a big plan you have.

2008 election

I have to say, I have mixed emotions about this election.
I'm really happy that it's ending, but i am very very very nervous
about who's going to win.
i voted macain, but obama i will admit it a great speaker.

I have been praying this whole morning
that people's minds and hearts would change.
that we won't turn our backs on israel.
Oh dear i spelt that wrong!

God be with us <3

My mommy.

Came to visit.
and she brought lots of goodies including the quilts she made for the masters staff and kids.
It was really awesome to see her and get hugs from her.
I miss her dearly.
Today was really a great day
I brought her to the battlefields and the bridge.
i meant to bring her to my favorite place where i feel like God is there, but we ran out of time.

Anyway, i'm so tired from today
but i watched babies tonight and they make me fall more and more in love with Life.
I can't wait til i start a family.
Well i can wait, but i can't
DOES THIS MAKE SENSE?
OH WELL FORGET IT!

Night <3

Hey unfaithful

Hey un-loving i will love you.
And Jesus i'm ready to come home.

Let the light shine on me.

Dear God,
To be completly honest with you i honestly feel like you've abondended me. I let you take my chains and break them, and i stopped fighting you. You asked me to let you carry me, trust you, and lean on you. But for 2 weeks now, i've been feeling like you've left me flat on the ground to fend for myself. Are you breaking me? Are you tearing down my walls and rebuilding me? Are you stripping me of my past and who i thought i was? If so, then why do i feel so alone and forgotten?

Why do i feel like the ugly duckling?
Why can't i sleep at night, because i feel as though i won't make it through the night? That Satan will take this time to destroy me.

I try to be close, and i try to call out to you, but i fee like it's a waste of breath. That this isn't where i'm suppose to be. God, i thought you said you wouldn't leave me. You promised!

I don't know whether i want to run and hide, or hate you.
Hate is such a strong word, but it's getting to the point where my heart is starting to run cold. I don't want that, but why is it turning into that?

God Help me!
please, i'm loosing everything.
i'm slowly desingrating.
HELP!
i'm calling out of help with my last breath!
HELP!

Lead me to the cross

God bring me to my knees.
Bring me out of my comfort zone.
Help me to just acknowledge that my past is forgiven
that i am worthy in your eyes.
That i deserve better,
That i deserve a husband who you've picked out for me.

GOD BRING ME OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE!

Long time no Blog.

So mater's has totally gotten me crazy busy.
It's okay thought. Turns out i'm failing one of my classes, OTS to be exact and not to sure how i'm planning to get this one up. This is not high school and you don't have these classes for the whole year. DUH!? So we found out how i am failing, and it's because of tests. I freeze when I see them and my mind erase's everything I studied. LAME! But now that it's identified, i can work at this.

NO PROBLEMS!!!!!
i can do all things through christ who strengthns me.

So tuesday we met GAP Masters because they came to sit in an Catalyist Meeting (which is pretty boring in some parts) and like they are TOTALLY AWESOME!
It's like us Master's students, no matter where you go, click right away. Unless, the boys are not suppose to talk to the girls and vise versa, but even then the girls click with the girls. =D

I LOVE EVERYTHING
I LOVE NATURE
I LOVE GOD
I LOVE MASTERS
I LOVE MY FAMILY
I LOVE GOD <3

My daddy carried me <3

All today, my daddy carried me.
he didn't let me go.
I love you daddy

I'm not cool!

some people tell me that i look kind of funny
my nose is red and the braces don't work at all
they say the clothes i wear are all out of fashion
i don't fit in and should be shopping at a different mall
i studied classical piano
when i could've been playing guitar
i used to drive an el camino
and i'm not even sure it's car

Chorus:
i'm no cool but that's okay
my god loves me anyway
i'm not cool but that's alright
i'm still precious in his sight
i'm not cool but i don't care
how i'm supposed to do my hair
i'm not cool but that's okay
my god loves me anyway

it doesn't matter if i know all the lingo
he doesn't mind if i'm not hanging with a certain crowd
some people still believe in building an image
but i am finding that's a worry i can do without
i used to wish i was athletic
but football was never my game
i made some friends in mathematics
but no one can spell my last name

chorus

he says that i am a one of a kind
and i don't have to try to be somebody else
he believes in me and says i'm free to be myself
i can be myself

he isnt' perfect

but who is besides God?
my husband will never be perfect, but i love him.
God will be our provider and our match maker.

I can't wait!

Youth Group

Was amazing.
Worship was amazing.
God gave me a word for 3 girls. AMAZING
i feel free, amazing
Tons of Youth Worshiped, and some who never worshiped before did. AMAZING
GOD IS JUST AMAZING!!!



I LOVE YOUUUU <3
always. Forever. never ending.

I feel.....

So free.
Like my chains are broken
and the devil has no hold over me.
that God was finally like "that a girl, I got you. LEAN ON ME, TRUST IN ME"
Do you know how amazing that felt.
To know that.
To sing in my car with my windows down, lifting my hands off the wheel and praising GOD!!!
To be the daughter of an AMAZING KING!
Oh i love him soo muchhh <3

Don't tell me....

That I can't do anything, because......


deal!

1 John 4:7-21

7 Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9 This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son[a] into the world that we might live through him. 10 This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 11 Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12 No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.
13 We know that we live in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. 14 And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. 15 If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God. 16 And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. 17 In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. 18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

19 We love because he first loved us. 20 If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. 21 And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother.


I absoutly love this verse.
It honestly could mean tons of meanings.

i miss you

So much it's incredible.
I miss playing "baseball" out in the field 7th period with our "crew" and using a tennis ball and tree relier thing as out bat that scott decided to "rob".
Oh man our fun times with the Met's vs. The Yankees team and you and I were always on the same team.

You became someone i trusted and someone i loved.
Someone who became closer to my heart than ever before.
It's like in high school we were meant to be friends and middle school just classmates. Geez, how i love you so much and all our fond memories.

I miss you Salman Iqubal <3
but i promise we'll be friends forever <3
i love you

to my dearest sister

Why did you do that to yourself?
why did you try that again?
Why would you go back to the boy who tried killing you?
AMY WHY?!

Why can't you think on your own?
Why do you hurt yourself?
Why did you lie to Dad?
why did you lie to me?

You just couldn't be truthful. No of course not. The only good memories I have of us are when you were trying to destroy your life. Amy i've cried a thousand tears for you, but now I don't haven even one.

Why do you think that is amy? Why?

I'm done being the "older" sister when i'm the younger sister. I wish you would change your life, but I know you won't. Nor have you tried. Only God can help you now.

Because i'm done trying.

Oh how i fall

more in love with you God.
Every single day of every single minute.
I fall more and more in love with you. forever <3

Where are all the accusers?

Where are the people that accuse me?
The ones who beat me down and bruise me
They hide, just out of sight
Can’t face me in the light
They’ll return, but I’ll be stronger

God i want to dream again
Take me where I’ve never been
I want to go there
This time I’m not scared
Now I am unbreakable
It’s unmistakable
No one can touch me
Nothing can stop me

Sometimes it’s hard to just keep going
But faith is moving without knowing
Can I trust what I can’t see
to reach my destiny?
I want to take control, but I know better

God i want to dream again
Take me where I’ve never been
I want to go there
This time I’m not scared
Now I am unbreakable

It’s unmistakable
No one can touch me
Nothing can stop me

Forget the fear, it’s just a crutch
That tries to hold you back and turn your dreams to dust
All you need to do is just *trust
(trust, trust, trust)*

God i want to dream again
Take me where I’ve never been
I want to go there
This time I’m not scared
Now I am unbreakable
It’s unmistakable
No one can touch me
Nothing can stop me

God i want to dream again (I want to dream again!)
Take me where I’ve never been
I want to go there (I wanna go there)
This time I’m not scared
Now I am unbreakable (I am unbreakable!)
It’s unmistakable
No one can touch me (No one can touch me!)
Nothing can stop me

I really love this song.
It's amazing
It's cool
and it means alot to me.

Thank You

God for everyone here at Masters.
For letting me not go home last night, and stay with them to watch the Steelers Game (even though i'm a Giants Fan).
For finally spilling my guts to why I was down all yesterday (after church)

I really really really....

Love it here. So why is it that today I want to run away and just leave? I've been down all day. I haven't smiled and that's not normal. God what's with me today?

It's like i've forgotten who i am.
It's like I've been abandoned
It's like no one likes me and just wants tp punch me out.
It's like I'm under attack.
It's like I'm lost
It's like I really need GOD.
It's like I really need a hug.
It's like I really want a hug.

God, I really need your help!
God, I really want help!
God, HELP ME PLEASE!!!

All for love the father gave <3

So today is the Bethelem human video which includes Addison, Leah, Jason, Heather, Beth and Me! Last night I couldn't sleep well, and I'm not sure if it was because I'm so nervous or that I was under attack. Well the only thing I know is that I called out to God the Whole night. Everytime I woke up I just said "God, let this human video go well and let my spirit have ease so that I can sleep". That's it. I actually woke up a little early this morning. If I wanted to I could of slept til 6:25 and took a shower and left and still made it to the church on time.

Well since that didn't happen, I'm going to go get a coffee and sit at the church.
Bye <3

I just wanted to say..

I love you & all that you've done <3

Today...

Tonight is one of those nights where I feel like i'm not worth anything and i'll never be good enough.








& you know what. That is a lie. I am worth it and I will not only be good enough but i will be Beyond good enough. I know i'll make it and I know God loves me.



So why am i feeling like this?
Lord, help me to not feel like this and not believe the lies that Satan is trying to place in my head. I love you lord.

To be honest...

I'm tired of trying to run home when things get a little rough here. And i'm tired of Satan trying to get me to give up and keep coming after me to try to break me.

I fall more in love with my Jesus each and every day =) Like I know Jesus is working in me and transforming me into someone he wants me to be. I just need to not want to go home every time one of my friends texts or calls me to see how I am. I need to realize that I do have a wonderful and amazing God that I can lean on, and for moral support I have wonderful friends and family GOd has blessed with me here at Masters.

Right now, I'm also really tired so I think I'm going to bed so I don't Bable anymore. haha

<3 night

Another Beautiful Day

Thank you God for another beautiful day.

So far today has been pretty wonderful and amazing. I cut my hair so it's actually raelly short and it's thin. I seriously continue to thank God for Kat. She's one of the best people to talk to and she gives me good advice, just like an older sister. She's taken the role and has so far been awesome at it. So last night I was actually considered the "older" sister. Turns out I was only sleeping for an hour. I went to bed at 12:00 and Kat woke me up at 1:06. But she was crying and needed a hug and prayer, So we prayed and we talked for a little bit, but I felt as though Kat and I have a great relationship were She can wake me up at like 1:00 in the morning and I'd be okay with it, just like Kat would be okay with me waking her up just to talk because something happened.

Thank You Jesus for all my friends at Masters & the best "sister" ever!

The wonder of it all....

Can i just say that although today started out like with clouds all over the place (although that was beautiful to) today at sunset I took like 30 pictures at my favorite place to be in the entire state of pennsylvania besides the battlefields. Honestly, I don't think we thank god enough for everything he's done. I mean look at this picture. The sunset and the tree, WOW. I couldn't help but be in awe that I was in the presence of something amazing God created on day 3. I don't know about the rest of you bloggers but I love being in the midst of God, especially around his creation.

Good night =)

Thank You

For this beautiful day Lord <3

Tanner Mott <3

This handsome young boy is my cousin Tanner.
He and I are very close. I don't know why he poped into my head today but I figured i'd write a blog about him. The last time I saw him when we I was leaving to come to Masters. Tanner was not very happy. He literally grabbed onto me and begged me not to leave. I gently pushed him off and picked him up, kissed his cheek and handed him to my uncle (his grandfather). Tanner just cried "talelynn, tatelynn please don't leave, come live and with me. We can go to college at my house" and with that said all I could do is simply walk out the door and cry.

Now, the main reason why i'm blogging about him and because in that situation he reminded me about Jesus. When I decided to leave the church and my faith, Jesus was like tanner, crying and sad that I walked out on him. Wondering when I would be home and be with him again. Asking questions to why I left. Jesus was like my cousin tanner when I walked out. He cried and didn't understand my reasons. Jesus had given me everything I asked him for and I walked out on him like he was nothing to me. There is only one difference between tanner and jesus. Jesus is the son of God while tanner is the son of my cousin david and donna. =)

I know that when I go home, tanner will come running to the door and hug me. Jesus did that when I got my life straightened up. These two people are very important to me.

& I will forever love them <3

To my dearest brother.

Dear Brian,
I miss you tons. But if that was going to be all in my letter, then this letter would be a total lie. The Honest truth, I don't like how you've been treating me. Ever since our parents joined together and we've became siblings you've acted as though i'm a misfit. I am your baby sister. I always will be. Yes, I am different, but you and I are the same. We both Love God. We both LOVE sports, and we BOTH work out. Why am I treated so badly? I ask you if you hate me and you reply "no". I ask again and you still reply "no". So If NO is the answer then why don't you hug me like you hug amy? Why don't you say "I love you too" when I say "I love you Brian"? Why is it that I feel like I need to buy your approval, your love? Why is it when you've had a couple drinks you actually pay attention to me and talk to me. Yeah your intoxincated when you say "hey" but you don't know that when you said "hey" I cherised that moment.

I cherish every moment because you never know when it will be our last. I love you brian, your my big brother. I wish you understood and listenend. I love your company when you come over and play monopoly with dad and watch boxing. I miss you when you leave because you are so awesome to be around. I love you my big brother brian.

Love,
your baby sis katelynn


Now......If only I had the courage to say this to his face, maybe our relationship would grow instead of deteriate. Please God, help me gain the courage to talk to him about this face to face.

Say goodbye if you've got someone to say it to.

I really miss these girls. & I really am starting to miss the summer where I made so many new friends. Come Back summer 08.


Although my summer was COMPLETLY filled with working at my job that I've had for 2 1/2 years, I really miss it. The girls, the kids, the cute little BBq's we had just because. The jokes and laughs about how Ian Klien was a stalker and was obessed with Krystina. WOW! Now that I think about it, even though my summer was filled with working full time with the hours of 9-6, My summer was actually amazing. And I think that only thing that made it amazing was that it was my last summer as a highschool student ever!!! Yeah I know I graduated June 27th, but it was my last summer being home, and Not in college. I must say, I think my summer was actually amazing.

Come Be the fire inside of me, until you and I are one

Today during Corem Deo Erica was saying how she feels that some of us are "sleeping". No not literally sleeping but spiritually. So she shared what was on her heart and that if we had that connection with Godwe'd praise and worship him whenever and we wouldn't mind it.

So during worship I just focused on God and he gave me a vision. A VISION! To be quite honest I didn't know it was from God at first, but I heard his voice. In my vision I saw my heart and beams of light setting off with every heart beat that my heart gave. Then God's voice said to me, My child this is your light you have for me. And let me tell you my light was not shining far, then my light got brighter and God voice spoke again saying "This is how I want your light to be, my daughter" and then he simply just said "I love you" and I felt him put his arms on my shoulders and my eyes started to tear up. With that I know that my light still shines I just need to make it brighter.

God i just want to say I love you and that for these next 9 months it wil just be you and I.

I can't believe

I truly can't believe how amazing and awesome God is. I was driving home and of course it was in the rain and I was listening to my ipod and I seriously was just amazed of the little rain that was coming down so lightly. WOW

Little things intrigue me. Like those mexican jumping beans, so thrilled. Give me a coloring book and my ipod when we travel and I'll be so satisfied it's not even funny!

Everyone is still at Pastor. Jason's house watching "The Office". Well since it is almost 11 oclock and it's thursday I think that they all may be on the way home. I have decided to not join them (as you can tell) because I am just not and "Office fan" and I really wanted to try to be a nerd and start my homework. Is that a bad thing??

Still deciding if I want to travel all the way back to Long Island for thanksgiving or stay here with family. Man Oh Man, I still have time.

Well i' officially going to bed. Night =)

First Time Ever...

I finally got a blogspot after a year of waiting for me to "officially" be a college student and get a new email. Apparently someone used my old email. Crazy. Crazy. Crazy. So sitting in the Masters Room eating a fantastic Hot Pocket I have decided to really stop writing this and enjoy everyone's company. And since i'm a hardcore blogger I will write again tonight. =) BYE!