I miss....
my parents
my bed
my cats
my tree
my flowers
my friends
my DD mosh pits
my sleepovers
my old yet brand new high school
my job
the beach
the lighthouse
the boardwalk at jones beach
the late night walks with the bests just because we want to
the cute cuddling while watching some pointless show
dancing til 3:30 in the am to music then playing 21 with m&m's
seeing familiar faces
my best friend mattyyy<3
knowing where to get the best sushi everrrr
taking the train into NYC
queens<3
playgrounds by my house
racing cars on foot
walking to my aunts house just because
swimming
the rude humor that almost everyone has
point of rambling..
i miss my home.
longisland<3
newyork<3
Friday, January 30, 2009
Take me to the place Lord...
I'm sure everyone has heard of this song, "Take me to that place lord, to the secret place where I can be with you, where you can make me like you. Wrap me in your arms, Wrap me in your arms, Wrap me in your arms".
And When I was singing it with Jen Trout this past wednesday for youth group I really didn't understand the meaning's of the lyrics. When we had class last night and Matt sang that for worship after class I just closed my eyes and listenend to the lyrics. And as I was showering this morning I just repeated it over and over in my head and It finally clicked. That I desperatly wanted to spend more time with Jesus, that I just wanted to be a little kid and crawl into my daddy's arms. A want, that I have longed for and I actually feel peace.
How wonderful is our GOD?
That he knows your wants and needs before they are in your heart.
I just am head over heels in love with Jesus.
You have no idea!
And When I was singing it with Jen Trout this past wednesday for youth group I really didn't understand the meaning's of the lyrics. When we had class last night and Matt sang that for worship after class I just closed my eyes and listenend to the lyrics. And as I was showering this morning I just repeated it over and over in my head and It finally clicked. That I desperatly wanted to spend more time with Jesus, that I just wanted to be a little kid and crawl into my daddy's arms. A want, that I have longed for and I actually feel peace.
How wonderful is our GOD?
That he knows your wants and needs before they are in your heart.
I just am head over heels in love with Jesus.
You have no idea!
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Is forever enough?
Is forever enough to live?
Is forever enough to fight?
Is forever enough to stand up for what's right?
Even in the grave my spirit will live on, and I'll know that the fight will still go on. even in part from my body and soul, the fight rages on for total control.
Control over minds, control over hearts, control of what trends and what celeb will drive the next kid crazy. Control of destiny, and Control over fate.
Is forever enough to challenge this trait?
Is forever enough to make a difference?
Forever is enough but it's time to short.
Times to short to make a difference, times to short to save anothers life. Times to short to make new friends, and Times to short to keep the old. Time is short to finally get your license and Time is way to short to not go to collge.
Forever would be nice, if it was apart.
Apart of this life, that God so gracesly gave to us. For our first breath and our last. Apart of this plan He has for the hearts that he keeps time with. Your heart pumps blood and has a sound, but only God knows the true meaning of that beating sound.
God last forever.
but is forever enough?
Is forever enough for us to change the patterns of this world?
Is forever enough for our future kids to step up as we die down?
Is forever enough?
Is forever enough?
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
love is not a fight, but it's something worth fighting for.
Dear Big Sister,
Keep fighting. Keep Your head up. you can make it. you can do it. It'll all be worth it in the end. I know that God is just preparing you for your lovely, amazing, bright future. Just keep your eyes on him and He will help prepare the way.
I love you
Keep fighting. Keep Your head up. you can make it. you can do it. It'll all be worth it in the end. I know that God is just preparing you for your lovely, amazing, bright future. Just keep your eyes on him and He will help prepare the way.
I love you
Monday, January 26, 2009
astounding.
Last night I was writing a letter to my friend and I was listening to mark schultz.
The song "I am" came on and I hit replay on my itunes. As it replayed I got up from my bed and started worshiping God. In that instance tears started falling from my brown eyes hitting my cheeks and rolling down to the floor. It astounds me that I could be fine one moment, then when It's just me and my daddy, I cry. He deserves every ounce of worship.
"Author and perfector, beginning and the end"
I AM.....
He astounds me with every little thing he does.
This is going to be a short blog, but just know that we serve an amazing God.
<3
The song "I am" came on and I hit replay on my itunes. As it replayed I got up from my bed and started worshiping God. In that instance tears started falling from my brown eyes hitting my cheeks and rolling down to the floor. It astounds me that I could be fine one moment, then when It's just me and my daddy, I cry. He deserves every ounce of worship.
"Author and perfector, beginning and the end"
I AM.....
He astounds me with every little thing he does.
This is going to be a short blog, but just know that we serve an amazing God.
<3
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Get to know me better.....
SO i decided to list a bunch of random facts about me. Let's see if you knew any.
1.I always cover my mouth when I yawn
2.I love jelly belly jellybeans
3.I text way more that I call
4.Reading calms my soul
5.I can't go one day with something hot to drink
6.Sweet-tea isn't much of an addiction anymore
7.I am starting to strongly dislike fast food
8.I like to stare into the nighttime sky
9.I like to talk to Jesus more than ever
10.I love to go to local band shows
11.It irritates me when people say "LOL" when you tell them something serious
12.My hearts belongs in Pennsylvania
13.But I am a Long Island girl forever
14.I only want a tattoo on my foot
15.I like to try new things
16.And start on new adventures
17.I used to run from my problems
18.I want to be adopted by my step-dad
19.I'm part Salvadorean
20.And I can't speak one ounce of spanish
21.I want to learn spanish again
22.I'm really smart when I apply myself.
23.Sometimes I don't want to motivate myself
24.I think MTV and WH1 are a waste of lifetimes.
25.I love children of all ages
26.Reaching out to hurt lives is something I live for
27.I make friends really easy
28.I need to learn to back up sometimes when people
29.I fight for what I want
30.But I never used to
31.It still hasn't hit me that I'm an official Alumi of BSHS
32.I donate blood
33.I'm not scared of the needles
34.My only fear is dying in a drunk driving accident
35.I know my future husband is out there
36.and in time I'll meet him
37.I give advice but don't take it when it comes to my problems
38.I really love my friends & family
39.FIREPROOF IS ONE OF THE BEST MOVIE
40.I'm a military brat
41.I wear my covenant ring like i'm married =)
42.MY PHONE SUCKS
43.I gave up drinking soda
44.One of my best friends drives a stick shift car
45.I dream
46.I'm a warrior of christ
47.Without Jesus in my life, I would be nothing
48.I love love love getting new bibles
49.My 2 best friends go to Penn state and messiah
50.I actually love hardcore music
51.Music is pretty amazing for the soul
52.I own a guitar which i haven't touched more than 2 times
53.I really want to learn how to play
54.Everyday I find new talents in myself and others
55.I really like to wear converses and nikes
56.straight legged pants are pretty amazing
57.I think i may start to gauge my ears
58.My laptop is apart of my life
59.I love the beach
60.Swimming is the best thing ever
61.I really never liked the spice girls, nsync, or any of those pop stars.
62.If I had to choose one i'd choose backstreet boys
63.I used to work at the YMCa
64.I wear makeup but can play sports better than most Guys.
65.NOT ALL GUYS!
66.I really like to dance in church
67.I cry for my generation and future generation
68.I really want a relationship with my sister
69.I sometimes think about my life if I went in a different direction
70.But then i realize I wouldn't be where i was today, and have made the friends i have now
71.I love my 4 cats
72.I love Disney movies
73.I answer the church phone in a high voice.
74.I really want to learn how to skateboard.
75.I think if they made an action figure of Daniel St.Armand every kid would buy it.
76.Heather Is a SUPERHERO!
77.Country music is pretty okay
78.I like to wear scarfs.
79.I'm trying to make it to 80
80.And I did.
81.I love getting cute little notes
82.and letters
83.If i had to choose to be born into any year
84.It would be the 1960's.
85.Don't ask me why
1.I always cover my mouth when I yawn
2.I love jelly belly jellybeans
3.I text way more that I call
4.Reading calms my soul
5.I can't go one day with something hot to drink
6.Sweet-tea isn't much of an addiction anymore
7.I am starting to strongly dislike fast food
8.I like to stare into the nighttime sky
9.I like to talk to Jesus more than ever
10.I love to go to local band shows
11.It irritates me when people say "LOL" when you tell them something serious
12.My hearts belongs in Pennsylvania
13.But I am a Long Island girl forever
14.I only want a tattoo on my foot
15.I like to try new things
16.And start on new adventures
17.I used to run from my problems
18.I want to be adopted by my step-dad
19.I'm part Salvadorean
20.And I can't speak one ounce of spanish
21.I want to learn spanish again
22.I'm really smart when I apply myself.
23.Sometimes I don't want to motivate myself
24.I think MTV and WH1 are a waste of lifetimes.
25.I love children of all ages
26.Reaching out to hurt lives is something I live for
27.I make friends really easy
28.I need to learn to back up sometimes when people
29.I fight for what I want
30.But I never used to
31.It still hasn't hit me that I'm an official Alumi of BSHS
32.I donate blood
33.I'm not scared of the needles
34.My only fear is dying in a drunk driving accident
35.I know my future husband is out there
36.and in time I'll meet him
37.I give advice but don't take it when it comes to my problems
38.I really love my friends & family
39.FIREPROOF IS ONE OF THE BEST MOVIE
40.I'm a military brat
41.I wear my covenant ring like i'm married =)
42.MY PHONE SUCKS
43.I gave up drinking soda
44.One of my best friends drives a stick shift car
45.I dream
46.I'm a warrior of christ
47.Without Jesus in my life, I would be nothing
48.I love love love getting new bibles
49.My 2 best friends go to Penn state and messiah
50.I actually love hardcore music
51.Music is pretty amazing for the soul
52.I own a guitar which i haven't touched more than 2 times
53.I really want to learn how to play
54.Everyday I find new talents in myself and others
55.I really like to wear converses and nikes
56.straight legged pants are pretty amazing
57.I think i may start to gauge my ears
58.My laptop is apart of my life
59.I love the beach
60.Swimming is the best thing ever
61.I really never liked the spice girls, nsync, or any of those pop stars.
62.If I had to choose one i'd choose backstreet boys
63.I used to work at the YMCa
64.I wear makeup but can play sports better than most Guys.
65.NOT ALL GUYS!
66.I really like to dance in church
67.I cry for my generation and future generation
68.I really want a relationship with my sister
69.I sometimes think about my life if I went in a different direction
70.But then i realize I wouldn't be where i was today, and have made the friends i have now
71.I love my 4 cats
72.I love Disney movies
73.I answer the church phone in a high voice.
74.I really want to learn how to skateboard.
75.I think if they made an action figure of Daniel St.Armand every kid would buy it.
76.Heather Is a SUPERHERO!
77.Country music is pretty okay
78.I like to wear scarfs.
79.I'm trying to make it to 80
80.And I did.
81.I love getting cute little notes
82.and letters
83.If i had to choose to be born into any year
84.It would be the 1960's.
85.Don't ask me why
Thursday, January 22, 2009
SILENCE.....
So this is me working at my summer job, 2008. My friends decided that I talked to much and needed to have ducktape over my mouth for the rest of the day, which was only from 3:30 - 6. And I couldn't text. What A brillant Idea for us to do. As I'm sitting there coloring with ducktape over my mouth a parent walks in and starts to crack up, asking if I lost a bet. Everyone replys "NO" she just talks too much. The parent sighed and walked away with her son. HOW EMBARASSING! To know that even a Parent may even think that is just heart wretching. RIGHT.........
Not even close. Truth was, my friends didn't want me to talk because they wanted to see If they could get control over the kids. All 12 of them from the ages of 2-3. The 2 year old's were my kids but we had to combine that day. WOW! Not one of them could keep any of the kids silent. And even me with the Ducktape over my mouth coloring barney pages, the kids all wanted to be with me. Remarkable.
Why am I jotting this down?
Because this kind of reminds me of Jesus when he says, "Let the children come to me".
I love kids.
and dwelling on this, makes me miss my summer/full time job at the YMCA.
but I need to move on.
I need to grow.
I need to experience things more.
I need JESUS!
more now
more tomorrow
more forever.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
It's time to dance
Every little girl dreams of that special day. Their wedding. They dream about what they'll wear and who they want to marry, and be a princess for a day. Wearing a white long dress with a beautiful vail and beautiful white high heeled shoes, with the flower girls throwing rose pedals on the ground in front of her. Little girls draem this at what, 6? maybe a little older.
ZOOM in on my life.
All through my kid years and most of my teen years I never dreamed about my future husband, nor ever worried about him. Guys' weren't attractive to me, and I mostly dreamed of who's butt I was going to kick that day in dodgeball. While most girls mooned over the islander goalies son Benjamin Vanbiesbrouck, and said that they were huge fans of his father, meanwhile here I am rolling my eyes because they could'nt name a single islander hockey player. SPICE GIRLS. That's what they called themselves, and they even sang the stupid songs. Here I am, wearing shorts and sneakers, getting all sweaty and dirty from playing kickball and beasting it out attempting to climb trees. I never thought about any of my guy friends becoming a potential boyfriend, although some did like me, They knew they had no chance.
So time goes by and I move to another town called Bay Shore (aka where i live now) and was like OH I CAN STILL DRESS LIKE A GUY AND BE MYSELF. DUDE! i got ripped to shreds my first day of middle school. That day my mom and I went shopping. I still didn't think about marriage til junior year. Now i'm 18 and dreaming of my marriage, but the more I think about it, The more I get desperate.
I don't want to settle, and I don't want to be desperate.
So, I really asked God to remove any feelings I may form to any guy so I don't get caught up in the world while I'm in masters.
So Leah J is getting married and all I keep thinking is, the only thing I want to see is her and paul dancing their first dance as husband and wife.
I can't wait to dance my first dance with Jesus.
It's time for me to dance, but with my Jesus, my husband, my true love.
ZOOM in on my life.
All through my kid years and most of my teen years I never dreamed about my future husband, nor ever worried about him. Guys' weren't attractive to me, and I mostly dreamed of who's butt I was going to kick that day in dodgeball. While most girls mooned over the islander goalies son Benjamin Vanbiesbrouck, and said that they were huge fans of his father, meanwhile here I am rolling my eyes because they could'nt name a single islander hockey player. SPICE GIRLS. That's what they called themselves, and they even sang the stupid songs. Here I am, wearing shorts and sneakers, getting all sweaty and dirty from playing kickball and beasting it out attempting to climb trees. I never thought about any of my guy friends becoming a potential boyfriend, although some did like me, They knew they had no chance.
So time goes by and I move to another town called Bay Shore (aka where i live now) and was like OH I CAN STILL DRESS LIKE A GUY AND BE MYSELF. DUDE! i got ripped to shreds my first day of middle school. That day my mom and I went shopping. I still didn't think about marriage til junior year. Now i'm 18 and dreaming of my marriage, but the more I think about it, The more I get desperate.
I don't want to settle, and I don't want to be desperate.
So, I really asked God to remove any feelings I may form to any guy so I don't get caught up in the world while I'm in masters.
So Leah J is getting married and all I keep thinking is, the only thing I want to see is her and paul dancing their first dance as husband and wife.
I can't wait to dance my first dance with Jesus.
It's time for me to dance, but with my Jesus, my husband, my true love.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Sunday, January 18, 2009
And Who will dry the tears that no one see's.
So Penn-Del was last night and I must say what an honor to be in the presence of someone who is so on fire for the lord and so anoited. WOW! The whole day we were there was an amazing experience. WOW how I can't wait til we go back the 31st. It's so awesome to be in the presence of not only God but young teenagers who are so On fire for Our Lord and Savior, WOW.
I met a few girls and guys that just stunned me with thier stories.
Especially this one girl Tina. What a sweetheart.
WOW
I'm still so very tired from yesterday.
I'm going to sleep.
I'll write more tomorrow.
If you can wait.
ONLY KIDDING<3
night
I met a few girls and guys that just stunned me with thier stories.
Especially this one girl Tina. What a sweetheart.
WOW
I'm still so very tired from yesterday.
I'm going to sleep.
I'll write more tomorrow.
If you can wait.
ONLY KIDDING<3
night
Friday, January 16, 2009
Welcome to Belize.
So last night I got a message from a LIYFC leader. Her name is Emily and one of the first people who I got to know quickly when I first got involved with LIYFC. So she sent out a message over facebook asking if any high school graduates from the ages of 18-25 would like to travel to Belize this May for a 2 week long mission trip. My heart was pounding when I first read the email. I called my mom right away and asked her and she said If you can get Emily to email you or mail you the information packet an application we could make it happen. So I gave Emily my email and home address. Terrifying. The only thing is, they day we leave is also the Day I graduate from Masters. I mean I was talking to Lauren and she said to just pray about it. And I am, I will. I mean I feel that this is an oppurtunity for me since i've missed so many when I was in high school.
God,
Please Help me out on this one. I need you to lead me in this decision.
Please give me peace in my heart so I am not freaking out over it so early.
Help me remain in Strength.
I love you
Thank you For This oppurtunity
Thank You for everyday you've given me
Every breath
Thank you for letting me not scared when I was 11
to make the choice for you to become apart of my life.
I love you
So much......
Today, Tomorrow, next week, next month, forever, I promised<3
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
"she's mine, no mine" "I can't help it she's my best friend"
I'm so tired of feelling like I need to compete for people's affection, for their hugs, for their smile. I'm tired of feeling like I'm not worth being someone's friend. I'm tired of feeling like I need to "Shotty" that person first so I can be their friend for that day.
I don't want to have to feel like that.
I don't want to feel like no one loves me.
I think that's why I love being apart of Jesus's life.
I don't need to compete for his affection, and I don't need to compete for his love.
He has time for everyone. He loves everyone the same. He wants to recieve attention just as much as he gives it. That's probably the reason why Alone time with Jesus is better than Alone time with anyone here on earth. He's always there.
He doesn't sit and talk to you for a bit then as soon as he gets a text message, look at it and no hear what you have to say. He won't break your heart. He won't leave you. When he makes promises, HE KEEPS THEM!
I'm tired of feeling like I'm always being compared to other people.
Don't do that to me.
I'm my own person. I am Katelynn Maria Yanes.
I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
So how come I don't feel that sometimes?
Dearest Brothers,
I am not OUR sister Amy. I will not overdose on that stupid drug that makes you feel good for an hour. I will not cause my body pain. I will not let my precious blood spill over a stupid boy, or a stupid craving at 6:30 in the morning. I will not betray you guys. I will not hurt your heart and not walk beside you. I will always be there. I am your baby sister. And if you know that, then why am I always the one who people think is older? What because I'm wise beyond my years and am very mature for an 18 year old? NO NO NO. I want for once for you guys to accept me. I want for once, you guys call me just to see how I'm doing. I want to hear those words. Those 3 little words that mean so much. Those 3 little words that change everything, and those 3 little words I know you mean. I wait for that day. I wait for that change to happen. I mean, I've been waiting for you guys for 18 years. So why must I be the one who is treated different? No matter what color skin I am, or my eye color, or my weight, or even hair color, I'm still your baby sister. BABY BABY BABY BABY BABY SISTER SISTER SISTER SISTER!!!! Can you understand that? I'm your baby sister. Which means, I will need to come to you for advice. That when a boy breaks my heart, you want to beat him up. That when I cry all you want to do is hold me and cry with me. You'll do anything to see me smile, because when I smile it brightens up your day. I'm waiting.........
Love,
Katelynn
Maybe that's what God is trying to teach me. That not everyone is going to be how I picture them to be. Or maybe perhaps He's trying to teach me and in HIS timing things will start to fall into place. He just wants to see if I'll keep my faith in him. Well God, I want to hope that. I want to hope that your just teaching me something and soon things will fall into place. But I don't know..I guess that's the funny thing about God. Only he knows when things are going to happen, Good or Bad, In your favor or Against your wishes.
I'm trusting you.<3
forever<3
I don't want to have to feel like that.
I don't want to feel like no one loves me.
I think that's why I love being apart of Jesus's life.
I don't need to compete for his affection, and I don't need to compete for his love.
He has time for everyone. He loves everyone the same. He wants to recieve attention just as much as he gives it. That's probably the reason why Alone time with Jesus is better than Alone time with anyone here on earth. He's always there.
He doesn't sit and talk to you for a bit then as soon as he gets a text message, look at it and no hear what you have to say. He won't break your heart. He won't leave you. When he makes promises, HE KEEPS THEM!
I'm tired of feeling like I'm always being compared to other people.
Don't do that to me.
I'm my own person. I am Katelynn Maria Yanes.
I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
So how come I don't feel that sometimes?
Dearest Brothers,
I am not OUR sister Amy. I will not overdose on that stupid drug that makes you feel good for an hour. I will not cause my body pain. I will not let my precious blood spill over a stupid boy, or a stupid craving at 6:30 in the morning. I will not betray you guys. I will not hurt your heart and not walk beside you. I will always be there. I am your baby sister. And if you know that, then why am I always the one who people think is older? What because I'm wise beyond my years and am very mature for an 18 year old? NO NO NO. I want for once for you guys to accept me. I want for once, you guys call me just to see how I'm doing. I want to hear those words. Those 3 little words that mean so much. Those 3 little words that change everything, and those 3 little words I know you mean. I wait for that day. I wait for that change to happen. I mean, I've been waiting for you guys for 18 years. So why must I be the one who is treated different? No matter what color skin I am, or my eye color, or my weight, or even hair color, I'm still your baby sister. BABY BABY BABY BABY BABY SISTER SISTER SISTER SISTER!!!! Can you understand that? I'm your baby sister. Which means, I will need to come to you for advice. That when a boy breaks my heart, you want to beat him up. That when I cry all you want to do is hold me and cry with me. You'll do anything to see me smile, because when I smile it brightens up your day. I'm waiting.........
Love,
Katelynn
Maybe that's what God is trying to teach me. That not everyone is going to be how I picture them to be. Or maybe perhaps He's trying to teach me and in HIS timing things will start to fall into place. He just wants to see if I'll keep my faith in him. Well God, I want to hope that. I want to hope that your just teaching me something and soon things will fall into place. But I don't know..I guess that's the funny thing about God. Only he knows when things are going to happen, Good or Bad, In your favor or Against your wishes.
I'm trusting you.<3
forever<3
Monday, January 12, 2009
Sunday, January 11, 2009
One phone call.
One phone call can change a persons heart in a matter of 10 seconds.
For the past two night I have not been able to get once good ounce of sleep.
On Friday night I finally went to bed at 2:30. Last night I went to bed at 4.
So the times keep getting later and later, and soon I will be up for a full 24 hours, If I can't dwell and think about what's causing me to not sleep.
So Last night I decided to try and call my friend Eric.
Eric is one friend that I know in my heart know matter what he will be a "maid of honor at my wedding".
Eric is a man of God, a young man to be exact, and talking to him, is just a blessing.
So of course He was sleeping soundly and didn't pick up his phone, but then again, Did I want him to?
Obv. not!
So he calls me today and I'm sitting in church so my phone will not ring. DUH silly!
I see the number after church and listen to the voice-mail he leaves me and decide I'll call him back when I'm on my way home, and, I'll drive the long way home so I can talk to him more. Which is what I did anyway. So I call him back and bascially pour my heart out to him. My thoughts that have been haunting me, and the cruel words my exboyfriend decided to plant in my heart.
And all Eric does is laugh, breath, and say "Kate, God is more than patient with us, So why can't we be patient with him? Your time of blessing will come, and your right, as much as you want to fall in love you aren't ready for love. Your spiritually immature, emotionally immature, and you can't handle it right now. God is your main focus, and He will give you your man and you'll just know right then and there why God told you to wait. I love you."
Eric <3
God<3
Love<3
Future Husband<3
Christian friends <3
FREEDOM VALLEY <3
For the past two night I have not been able to get once good ounce of sleep.
On Friday night I finally went to bed at 2:30. Last night I went to bed at 4.
So the times keep getting later and later, and soon I will be up for a full 24 hours, If I can't dwell and think about what's causing me to not sleep.
So Last night I decided to try and call my friend Eric.
Eric is one friend that I know in my heart know matter what he will be a "maid of honor at my wedding".
Eric is a man of God, a young man to be exact, and talking to him, is just a blessing.
So of course He was sleeping soundly and didn't pick up his phone, but then again, Did I want him to?
Obv. not!
So he calls me today and I'm sitting in church so my phone will not ring. DUH silly!
I see the number after church and listen to the voice-mail he leaves me and decide I'll call him back when I'm on my way home, and, I'll drive the long way home so I can talk to him more. Which is what I did anyway. So I call him back and bascially pour my heart out to him. My thoughts that have been haunting me, and the cruel words my exboyfriend decided to plant in my heart.
And all Eric does is laugh, breath, and say "Kate, God is more than patient with us, So why can't we be patient with him? Your time of blessing will come, and your right, as much as you want to fall in love you aren't ready for love. Your spiritually immature, emotionally immature, and you can't handle it right now. God is your main focus, and He will give you your man and you'll just know right then and there why God told you to wait. I love you."
Eric <3
God<3
Love<3
Future Husband<3
Christian friends <3
FREEDOM VALLEY <3
Friday, January 9, 2009
I can't sleep.
Why do I keep putting myself through the same wash cycle over and over again? I think about the painful memories and somehow he must know and Im me. Then I get caught up in talking to him and getting beat up and kicked down even more. It stinks. I mean I did catcha a sign that he would never ever be the one, because he said this to me "You just threw me away and there was no way after that was I going to wait" and right there was a sign.
I mean at first I was like, was I nor good enough to wait for, or I was not worth waiting for, but then i realized that There is a man out there, that thinks i am worth waiting for and is willing to wait however long til we get to that moment where we meet.
I can't wait for that moment. But til then, I just need to wait.
I need to stop putting myself in the wash cycle because it's the same thing
over and over and over again. Thoughts and happiness then conquer and destroy.
But you know I am able to break that cylce.
I will break that cycle.
But I can't do it alone
I need God, and my family here in Masters <3
I'm not trying to fight this battle on my own while i'm so weak.
<2
I mean at first I was like, was I nor good enough to wait for, or I was not worth waiting for, but then i realized that There is a man out there, that thinks i am worth waiting for and is willing to wait however long til we get to that moment where we meet.
I can't wait for that moment. But til then, I just need to wait.
I need to stop putting myself in the wash cycle because it's the same thing
over and over and over again. Thoughts and happiness then conquer and destroy.
But you know I am able to break that cylce.
I will break that cycle.
But I can't do it alone
I need God, and my family here in Masters <3
I'm not trying to fight this battle on my own while i'm so weak.
<2
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
i thank God for...
my family
my friends
his son
his word
my life
each and everyday's experiences.
So the day before I came back to Pennsylvania, I went out to eat with some friends I met during my time of being involved with Long Island Youth For Christ and Work Camp 08 since most of us are in college and didn't see each other since graduation. So Billy decided to have eveyone meet up at Moe's southwest grill. I have never been there. So we were expecting at least 3 more people but it turned out to be, Me, Billy, Tim, and Kevin. Billy goes to Messiah and Tim and Kevin go to Liberty. So we all order, get out drinks and sit down to eat. So we all look at each other and smile and ask who want's to pray and tim gladly raises his hand and says "I Will". So tim prays we all say "amen" and start to eat. So as we're all talking and eating, I can't help but stare at each and every single one of them and smile.
The whole time I was thinking, WOW these are my brothers, my friends, Young Men you are after God's own heart and live each and every day eager to see what God has in store for them that day. I can't tell you how amazing that feeling was. So sit across 3 young men of God and like have conversations about how our growth is doing and our college courses are and how God keeps speaking to us.
Then I come back to Gburg and hang out with kait, lulu, evan, addison and steven. We all went to suprise evan stoolzfoos (totally spelt that wrong) at his basketball game, and like my thoughts went wild again. How much I love being in the prescence of Young women who are after God's own heart and Young men. How much I'm so honored to call them my sisters and brothers, and say I Love You and mean it.
Being around my friends and family here is Gburg and long island, who serve a God who's so remarkable and beautiful that we have to shield our faces because his face is just so bright and pure and just being able to talk to them about the days I'm having and how I sometimes feel like GOd just dissed me and hearing them say encouraging things to me that GOd would say to me, just impacts my life greatly.
WOW
I love God
I love Gburg Masters Commission
I love serving a God so remarkable
I love my brothers and sisters <3
Your the best
my friends
his son
his word
my life
each and everyday's experiences.
So the day before I came back to Pennsylvania, I went out to eat with some friends I met during my time of being involved with Long Island Youth For Christ and Work Camp 08 since most of us are in college and didn't see each other since graduation. So Billy decided to have eveyone meet up at Moe's southwest grill. I have never been there. So we were expecting at least 3 more people but it turned out to be, Me, Billy, Tim, and Kevin. Billy goes to Messiah and Tim and Kevin go to Liberty. So we all order, get out drinks and sit down to eat. So we all look at each other and smile and ask who want's to pray and tim gladly raises his hand and says "I Will". So tim prays we all say "amen" and start to eat. So as we're all talking and eating, I can't help but stare at each and every single one of them and smile.
The whole time I was thinking, WOW these are my brothers, my friends, Young Men you are after God's own heart and live each and every day eager to see what God has in store for them that day. I can't tell you how amazing that feeling was. So sit across 3 young men of God and like have conversations about how our growth is doing and our college courses are and how God keeps speaking to us.
Then I come back to Gburg and hang out with kait, lulu, evan, addison and steven. We all went to suprise evan stoolzfoos (totally spelt that wrong) at his basketball game, and like my thoughts went wild again. How much I love being in the prescence of Young women who are after God's own heart and Young men. How much I'm so honored to call them my sisters and brothers, and say I Love You and mean it.
Being around my friends and family here is Gburg and long island, who serve a God who's so remarkable and beautiful that we have to shield our faces because his face is just so bright and pure and just being able to talk to them about the days I'm having and how I sometimes feel like GOd just dissed me and hearing them say encouraging things to me that GOd would say to me, just impacts my life greatly.
WOW
I love God
I love Gburg Masters Commission
I love serving a God so remarkable
I love my brothers and sisters <3
Your the best
Monday, January 5, 2009
welcome 2009
Wow so I knew 2009 was coming, but I had no idea that it would come this fast. I can't believe my cousin is graduating, and I will no long be 18, and Life will change. 2008 is gone just as fast as it came. Sometimes I do wish I could go back in time and be in high school again. I miss my job and my kids there. I miss still being considered a child. Oh man Do i miss it.
Well I'm no longer a child, in my heart yes, physically? No.
Well I'm no longer a child, in my heart yes, physically? No.
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