It's time to dance

Every little girl dreams of that special day. Their wedding. They dream about what they'll wear and who they want to marry, and be a princess for a day. Wearing a white long dress with a beautiful vail and beautiful white high heeled shoes, with the flower girls throwing rose pedals on the ground in front of her. Little girls draem this at what, 6? maybe a little older.

ZOOM in on my life.
All through my kid years and most of my teen years I never dreamed about my future husband, nor ever worried about him. Guys' weren't attractive to me, and I mostly dreamed of who's butt I was going to kick that day in dodgeball. While most girls mooned over the islander goalies son Benjamin Vanbiesbrouck, and said that they were huge fans of his father, meanwhile here I am rolling my eyes because they could'nt name a single islander hockey player. SPICE GIRLS. That's what they called themselves, and they even sang the stupid songs. Here I am, wearing shorts and sneakers, getting all sweaty and dirty from playing kickball and beasting it out attempting to climb trees. I never thought about any of my guy friends becoming a potential boyfriend, although some did like me, They knew they had no chance.

So time goes by and I move to another town called Bay Shore (aka where i live now) and was like OH I CAN STILL DRESS LIKE A GUY AND BE MYSELF. DUDE! i got ripped to shreds my first day of middle school. That day my mom and I went shopping. I still didn't think about marriage til junior year. Now i'm 18 and dreaming of my marriage, but the more I think about it, The more I get desperate.

I don't want to settle, and I don't want to be desperate.
So, I really asked God to remove any feelings I may form to any guy so I don't get caught up in the world while I'm in masters.

So Leah J is getting married and all I keep thinking is, the only thing I want to see is her and paul dancing their first dance as husband and wife.

I can't wait to dance my first dance with Jesus.
It's time for me to dance, but with my Jesus, my husband, my true love.

18

years<3 and i keep growing<3

And Who will dry the tears that no one see's.

So Penn-Del was last night and I must say what an honor to be in the presence of someone who is so on fire for the lord and so anoited. WOW! The whole day we were there was an amazing experience. WOW how I can't wait til we go back the 31st. It's so awesome to be in the presence of not only God but young teenagers who are so On fire for Our Lord and Savior, WOW.

I met a few girls and guys that just stunned me with thier stories.
Especially this one girl Tina. What a sweetheart.
WOW

I'm still so very tired from yesterday.
I'm going to sleep.
I'll write more tomorrow.
If you can wait.

ONLY KIDDING<3
night

Welcome to Belize.

So last night I got a message from a LIYFC leader. Her name is Emily and one of the first people who I got to know quickly when I first got involved with LIYFC. So she sent out a message over facebook asking if any high school graduates from the ages of 18-25 would like to travel to Belize this May for a 2 week long mission trip. My heart was pounding when I first read the email. I called my mom right away and asked her and she said If you can get Emily to email you or mail you the information packet an application we could make it happen. So I gave Emily my email and home address. Terrifying. The only thing is, they day we leave is also the Day I graduate from Masters. I mean I was talking to Lauren and she said to just pray about it. And I am, I will. I mean I feel that this is an oppurtunity for me since i've missed so many when I was in high school.

God,
Please Help me out on this one. I need you to lead me in this decision.
Please give me peace in my heart so I am not freaking out over it so early.
Help me remain in Strength.
I love you
Thank you For This oppurtunity
Thank You for everyday you've given me
Every breath
Thank you for letting me not scared when I was 11
to make the choice for you to become apart of my life.
I love you
So much......
Today, Tomorrow, next week, next month, forever, I promised<3

"she's mine, no mine" "I can't help it she's my best friend"

I'm so tired of feelling like I need to compete for people's affection, for their hugs, for their smile. I'm tired of feeling like I'm not worth being someone's friend. I'm tired of feeling like I need to "Shotty" that person first so I can be their friend for that day.

I don't want to have to feel like that.
I don't want to feel like no one loves me.

I think that's why I love being apart of Jesus's life.
I don't need to compete for his affection, and I don't need to compete for his love.
He has time for everyone. He loves everyone the same. He wants to recieve attention just as much as he gives it. That's probably the reason why Alone time with Jesus is better than Alone time with anyone here on earth. He's always there.
He doesn't sit and talk to you for a bit then as soon as he gets a text message, look at it and no hear what you have to say. He won't break your heart. He won't leave you. When he makes promises, HE KEEPS THEM!

I'm tired of feeling like I'm always being compared to other people.
Don't do that to me.
I'm my own person. I am Katelynn Maria Yanes.
I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
So how come I don't feel that sometimes?

Dearest Brothers,
I am not OUR sister Amy. I will not overdose on that stupid drug that makes you feel good for an hour. I will not cause my body pain. I will not let my precious blood spill over a stupid boy, or a stupid craving at 6:30 in the morning. I will not betray you guys. I will not hurt your heart and not walk beside you. I will always be there. I am your baby sister. And if you know that, then why am I always the one who people think is older? What because I'm wise beyond my years and am very mature for an 18 year old? NO NO NO. I want for once for you guys to accept me. I want for once, you guys call me just to see how I'm doing. I want to hear those words. Those 3 little words that mean so much. Those 3 little words that change everything, and those 3 little words I know you mean. I wait for that day. I wait for that change to happen. I mean, I've been waiting for you guys for 18 years. So why must I be the one who is treated different? No matter what color skin I am, or my eye color, or my weight, or even hair color, I'm still your baby sister. BABY BABY BABY BABY BABY SISTER SISTER SISTER SISTER!!!! Can you understand that? I'm your baby sister. Which means, I will need to come to you for advice. That when a boy breaks my heart, you want to beat him up. That when I cry all you want to do is hold me and cry with me. You'll do anything to see me smile, because when I smile it brightens up your day. I'm waiting.........
Love,
Katelynn

Maybe that's what God is trying to teach me. That not everyone is going to be how I picture them to be. Or maybe perhaps He's trying to teach me and in HIS timing things will start to fall into place. He just wants to see if I'll keep my faith in him. Well God, I want to hope that. I want to hope that your just teaching me something and soon things will fall into place. But I don't know..I guess that's the funny thing about God. Only he knows when things are going to happen, Good or Bad, In your favor or Against your wishes.

I'm trusting you.<3
forever<3

I will run the race set before me...

Hot Tea

Have you ever drinking hot sweet tea?
I hear it's pretty good.dare me?

One phone call.

One phone call can change a persons heart in a matter of 10 seconds.
For the past two night I have not been able to get once good ounce of sleep.
On Friday night I finally went to bed at 2:30. Last night I went to bed at 4.
So the times keep getting later and later, and soon I will be up for a full 24 hours, If I can't dwell and think about what's causing me to not sleep.

So Last night I decided to try and call my friend Eric.
Eric is one friend that I know in my heart know matter what he will be a "maid of honor at my wedding".
Eric is a man of God, a young man to be exact, and talking to him, is just a blessing.
So of course He was sleeping soundly and didn't pick up his phone, but then again, Did I want him to?

Obv. not!
So he calls me today and I'm sitting in church so my phone will not ring. DUH silly!
I see the number after church and listen to the voice-mail he leaves me and decide I'll call him back when I'm on my way home, and, I'll drive the long way home so I can talk to him more. Which is what I did anyway. So I call him back and bascially pour my heart out to him. My thoughts that have been haunting me, and the cruel words my exboyfriend decided to plant in my heart.

And all Eric does is laugh, breath, and say "Kate, God is more than patient with us, So why can't we be patient with him? Your time of blessing will come, and your right, as much as you want to fall in love you aren't ready for love. Your spiritually immature, emotionally immature, and you can't handle it right now. God is your main focus, and He will give you your man and you'll just know right then and there why God told you to wait. I love you."

Eric <3
God<3
Love<3
Future Husband<3
Christian friends <3
FREEDOM VALLEY <3

I can't sleep.

Why do I keep putting myself through the same wash cycle over and over again? I think about the painful memories and somehow he must know and Im me. Then I get caught up in talking to him and getting beat up and kicked down even more. It stinks. I mean I did catcha a sign that he would never ever be the one, because he said this to me "You just threw me away and there was no way after that was I going to wait" and right there was a sign.

I mean at first I was like, was I nor good enough to wait for, or I was not worth waiting for, but then i realized that There is a man out there, that thinks i am worth waiting for and is willing to wait however long til we get to that moment where we meet.

I can't wait for that moment. But til then, I just need to wait.

I need to stop putting myself in the wash cycle because it's the same thing
over and over and over again. Thoughts and happiness then conquer and destroy.
But you know I am able to break that cylce.
I will break that cycle.
But I can't do it alone
I need God, and my family here in Masters <3
I'm not trying to fight this battle on my own while i'm so weak.
<2

i thank God for...

my family
my friends
his son
his word
my life
each and everyday's experiences.

So the day before I came back to Pennsylvania, I went out to eat with some friends I met during my time of being involved with Long Island Youth For Christ and Work Camp 08 since most of us are in college and didn't see each other since graduation. So Billy decided to have eveyone meet up at Moe's southwest grill. I have never been there. So we were expecting at least 3 more people but it turned out to be, Me, Billy, Tim, and Kevin. Billy goes to Messiah and Tim and Kevin go to Liberty. So we all order, get out drinks and sit down to eat. So we all look at each other and smile and ask who want's to pray and tim gladly raises his hand and says "I Will". So tim prays we all say "amen" and start to eat. So as we're all talking and eating, I can't help but stare at each and every single one of them and smile.

The whole time I was thinking, WOW these are my brothers, my friends, Young Men you are after God's own heart and live each and every day eager to see what God has in store for them that day. I can't tell you how amazing that feeling was. So sit across 3 young men of God and like have conversations about how our growth is doing and our college courses are and how God keeps speaking to us.

Then I come back to Gburg and hang out with kait, lulu, evan, addison and steven. We all went to suprise evan stoolzfoos (totally spelt that wrong) at his basketball game, and like my thoughts went wild again. How much I love being in the prescence of Young women who are after God's own heart and Young men. How much I'm so honored to call them my sisters and brothers, and say I Love You and mean it.

Being around my friends and family here is Gburg and long island, who serve a God who's so remarkable and beautiful that we have to shield our faces because his face is just so bright and pure and just being able to talk to them about the days I'm having and how I sometimes feel like GOd just dissed me and hearing them say encouraging things to me that GOd would say to me, just impacts my life greatly.

WOW
I love God
I love Gburg Masters Commission
I love serving a God so remarkable
I love my brothers and sisters <3
Your the best