Let the light shine on me.

Dear God,
To be completly honest with you i honestly feel like you've abondended me. I let you take my chains and break them, and i stopped fighting you. You asked me to let you carry me, trust you, and lean on you. But for 2 weeks now, i've been feeling like you've left me flat on the ground to fend for myself. Are you breaking me? Are you tearing down my walls and rebuilding me? Are you stripping me of my past and who i thought i was? If so, then why do i feel so alone and forgotten?

Why do i feel like the ugly duckling?
Why can't i sleep at night, because i feel as though i won't make it through the night? That Satan will take this time to destroy me.

I try to be close, and i try to call out to you, but i fee like it's a waste of breath. That this isn't where i'm suppose to be. God, i thought you said you wouldn't leave me. You promised!

I don't know whether i want to run and hide, or hate you.
Hate is such a strong word, but it's getting to the point where my heart is starting to run cold. I don't want that, but why is it turning into that?

God Help me!
please, i'm loosing everything.
i'm slowly desingrating.
HELP!
i'm calling out of help with my last breath!
HELP!