I miss you, David.

David,
Good News, Your mom and I have started talking. She seems like a very enjoyable women to be around. I can't wait to meet her. I miss you. There are some days when I just wish I could hear your voice again. Where the only boy that had my heart was you and that' was all that mattered. You're still my big brother and I carry our memories in my heart forever. I carry you in my heart forever. Your smile, and joyious laughter I carry in my spirit. I must say that I am completly jealous that you got to meet the man that created us first. I wonder day after day how he is. Would you tell him I'm sorry. But knowing him, our daddy he already knew.

David I'm hurting inside. I've pushed God away slowly after loosing you. Not even knowing it. I find it a battle inside my heart that continusly Goes on. It's like i'm fighting for you and yet i'm forgetting how to fight for myself. It's so hard to think that you aren't here anymore. It's so hard to think that even though we haven't talked in a year, forever so much longer.

I'm trying to tell people how i feel, and talk to people about it but I can't find the strength to talk about it. I haven't really blogged about it in a while. It's like I have been in denial about it the whole time. I told myself I would write letters to you and put them in a box someone gave me since that would help, and I haven't stayed committed in that. I feel bad. It's like I'm rejecting the feelings that i need to go through during greving. I'm sorry, i'm not like your other friends, where they smoke in your memory. You should know me david, never touched a drug in my life or drink.

You admired me for that. Remember? Well I'm still keeping my distance from drugs and alcohol. I promise. For you<3

You would be so proud of me. I'm starting to understand life a little bit. I'm not saying that i will, but I'm starting to get the hang of it. I find it a little cool yet scary. I miss you david. I wish you were here. Your daughter misses you. I know that for a fact because I can feel it. Remember when I told you that sometimes i can feel other people's pain and you looked at me weird and then i told you I was a christian and you smiled and understood, well she misses you. ALOT. probably more than anyone. She looks exactly like you David. Beautiful.
I'm sure you miss her.
I know you miss her.

Your mom is trying David. She misses you alot. She's told me. She has good days and rough days. I think she just wants to know you're okay. Please let her know. For a mothers sake. I know how hard it is for her. If im struggling then i know your mommy is also. Give her a sign to let her know you're okay. Please let me know. I just want to know you're happy and smiling.

I love you David Daniel Dawson. Kathy told me the story about how you came up to her one day and said your rapper name is Triple D because you have 3 d's in your name. Clever you.

I miss you sunshine<3
I love you.