Hey un-loving i will love you.
And Jesus i'm ready to come home.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Let the light shine on me.
Dear God,
To be completly honest with you i honestly feel like you've abondended me. I let you take my chains and break them, and i stopped fighting you. You asked me to let you carry me, trust you, and lean on you. But for 2 weeks now, i've been feeling like you've left me flat on the ground to fend for myself. Are you breaking me? Are you tearing down my walls and rebuilding me? Are you stripping me of my past and who i thought i was? If so, then why do i feel so alone and forgotten?
Why do i feel like the ugly duckling?
Why can't i sleep at night, because i feel as though i won't make it through the night? That Satan will take this time to destroy me.
I try to be close, and i try to call out to you, but i fee like it's a waste of breath. That this isn't where i'm suppose to be. God, i thought you said you wouldn't leave me. You promised!
I don't know whether i want to run and hide, or hate you.
Hate is such a strong word, but it's getting to the point where my heart is starting to run cold. I don't want that, but why is it turning into that?
God Help me!
please, i'm loosing everything.
i'm slowly desingrating.
HELP!
i'm calling out of help with my last breath!
HELP!
To be completly honest with you i honestly feel like you've abondended me. I let you take my chains and break them, and i stopped fighting you. You asked me to let you carry me, trust you, and lean on you. But for 2 weeks now, i've been feeling like you've left me flat on the ground to fend for myself. Are you breaking me? Are you tearing down my walls and rebuilding me? Are you stripping me of my past and who i thought i was? If so, then why do i feel so alone and forgotten?
Why do i feel like the ugly duckling?
Why can't i sleep at night, because i feel as though i won't make it through the night? That Satan will take this time to destroy me.
I try to be close, and i try to call out to you, but i fee like it's a waste of breath. That this isn't where i'm suppose to be. God, i thought you said you wouldn't leave me. You promised!
I don't know whether i want to run and hide, or hate you.
Hate is such a strong word, but it's getting to the point where my heart is starting to run cold. I don't want that, but why is it turning into that?
God Help me!
please, i'm loosing everything.
i'm slowly desingrating.
HELP!
i'm calling out of help with my last breath!
HELP!
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Lead me to the cross
God bring me to my knees.
Bring me out of my comfort zone.
Help me to just acknowledge that my past is forgiven
that i am worthy in your eyes.
That i deserve better,
That i deserve a husband who you've picked out for me.
GOD BRING ME OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE!
Bring me out of my comfort zone.
Help me to just acknowledge that my past is forgiven
that i am worthy in your eyes.
That i deserve better,
That i deserve a husband who you've picked out for me.
GOD BRING ME OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE!
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Long time no Blog.
So mater's has totally gotten me crazy busy.
It's okay thought. Turns out i'm failing one of my classes, OTS to be exact and not to sure how i'm planning to get this one up. This is not high school and you don't have these classes for the whole year. DUH!? So we found out how i am failing, and it's because of tests. I freeze when I see them and my mind erase's everything I studied. LAME! But now that it's identified, i can work at this.
NO PROBLEMS!!!!!
i can do all things through christ who strengthns me.
So tuesday we met GAP Masters because they came to sit in an Catalyist Meeting (which is pretty boring in some parts) and like they are TOTALLY AWESOME!
It's like us Master's students, no matter where you go, click right away. Unless, the boys are not suppose to talk to the girls and vise versa, but even then the girls click with the girls. =D
I LOVE EVERYTHING
I LOVE NATURE
I LOVE GOD
I LOVE MASTERS
I LOVE MY FAMILY
I LOVE GOD <3
It's okay thought. Turns out i'm failing one of my classes, OTS to be exact and not to sure how i'm planning to get this one up. This is not high school and you don't have these classes for the whole year. DUH!? So we found out how i am failing, and it's because of tests. I freeze when I see them and my mind erase's everything I studied. LAME! But now that it's identified, i can work at this.
NO PROBLEMS!!!!!
i can do all things through christ who strengthns me.
So tuesday we met GAP Masters because they came to sit in an Catalyist Meeting (which is pretty boring in some parts) and like they are TOTALLY AWESOME!
It's like us Master's students, no matter where you go, click right away. Unless, the boys are not suppose to talk to the girls and vise versa, but even then the girls click with the girls. =D
I LOVE EVERYTHING
I LOVE NATURE
I LOVE GOD
I LOVE MASTERS
I LOVE MY FAMILY
I LOVE GOD <3
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Friday, October 17, 2008
I'm not cool!
some people tell me that i look kind of funny
my nose is red and the braces don't work at all
they say the clothes i wear are all out of fashion
i don't fit in and should be shopping at a different mall
i studied classical piano
when i could've been playing guitar
i used to drive an el camino
and i'm not even sure it's car
Chorus:
i'm no cool but that's okay
my god loves me anyway
i'm not cool but that's alright
i'm still precious in his sight
i'm not cool but i don't care
how i'm supposed to do my hair
i'm not cool but that's okay
my god loves me anyway
it doesn't matter if i know all the lingo
he doesn't mind if i'm not hanging with a certain crowd
some people still believe in building an image
but i am finding that's a worry i can do without
i used to wish i was athletic
but football was never my game
i made some friends in mathematics
but no one can spell my last name
chorus
he says that i am a one of a kind
and i don't have to try to be somebody else
he believes in me and says i'm free to be myself
i can be myself
my nose is red and the braces don't work at all
they say the clothes i wear are all out of fashion
i don't fit in and should be shopping at a different mall
i studied classical piano
when i could've been playing guitar
i used to drive an el camino
and i'm not even sure it's car
Chorus:
i'm no cool but that's okay
my god loves me anyway
i'm not cool but that's alright
i'm still precious in his sight
i'm not cool but i don't care
how i'm supposed to do my hair
i'm not cool but that's okay
my god loves me anyway
it doesn't matter if i know all the lingo
he doesn't mind if i'm not hanging with a certain crowd
some people still believe in building an image
but i am finding that's a worry i can do without
i used to wish i was athletic
but football was never my game
i made some friends in mathematics
but no one can spell my last name
chorus
he says that i am a one of a kind
and i don't have to try to be somebody else
he believes in me and says i'm free to be myself
i can be myself
Thursday, October 16, 2008
he isnt' perfect
but who is besides God?
my husband will never be perfect, but i love him.
God will be our provider and our match maker.
I can't wait!
my husband will never be perfect, but i love him.
God will be our provider and our match maker.
I can't wait!
Youth Group
Was amazing.
Worship was amazing.
God gave me a word for 3 girls. AMAZING
i feel free, amazing
Tons of Youth Worshiped, and some who never worshiped before did. AMAZING
GOD IS JUST AMAZING!!!
I LOVE YOUUUU <3
always. Forever. never ending.
Worship was amazing.
God gave me a word for 3 girls. AMAZING
i feel free, amazing
Tons of Youth Worshiped, and some who never worshiped before did. AMAZING
GOD IS JUST AMAZING!!!
I LOVE YOUUUU <3
always. Forever. never ending.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
I feel.....
So free.
Like my chains are broken
and the devil has no hold over me.
that God was finally like "that a girl, I got you. LEAN ON ME, TRUST IN ME"
Do you know how amazing that felt.
To know that.
To sing in my car with my windows down, lifting my hands off the wheel and praising GOD!!!
To be the daughter of an AMAZING KING!
Oh i love him soo muchhh <3
Like my chains are broken
and the devil has no hold over me.
that God was finally like "that a girl, I got you. LEAN ON ME, TRUST IN ME"
Do you know how amazing that felt.
To know that.
To sing in my car with my windows down, lifting my hands off the wheel and praising GOD!!!
To be the daughter of an AMAZING KING!
Oh i love him soo muchhh <3
Sunday, October 12, 2008
1 John 4:7-21
7 Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9 This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son[a] into the world that we might live through him. 10 This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 11 Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12 No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.
13 We know that we live in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. 14 And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. 15 If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God. 16 And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. 17 In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. 18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
19 We love because he first loved us. 20 If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. 21 And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother.
I absoutly love this verse.
It honestly could mean tons of meanings.
13 We know that we live in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. 14 And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. 15 If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God. 16 And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. 17 In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. 18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
19 We love because he first loved us. 20 If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. 21 And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother.
I absoutly love this verse.
It honestly could mean tons of meanings.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
i miss you
So much it's incredible.
I miss playing "baseball" out in the field 7th period with our "crew" and using a tennis ball and tree relier thing as out bat that scott decided to "rob".
Oh man our fun times with the Met's vs. The Yankees team and you and I were always on the same team.
You became someone i trusted and someone i loved.
Someone who became closer to my heart than ever before.
It's like in high school we were meant to be friends and middle school just classmates. Geez, how i love you so much and all our fond memories.
I miss you Salman Iqubal <3
but i promise we'll be friends forever <3
i love you
I miss playing "baseball" out in the field 7th period with our "crew" and using a tennis ball and tree relier thing as out bat that scott decided to "rob".
Oh man our fun times with the Met's vs. The Yankees team and you and I were always on the same team.
You became someone i trusted and someone i loved.
Someone who became closer to my heart than ever before.
It's like in high school we were meant to be friends and middle school just classmates. Geez, how i love you so much and all our fond memories.
I miss you Salman Iqubal <3
but i promise we'll be friends forever <3
i love you
Thursday, October 9, 2008
to my dearest sister
Why did you do that to yourself?
why did you try that again?
Why would you go back to the boy who tried killing you?
AMY WHY?!
Why can't you think on your own?
Why do you hurt yourself?
Why did you lie to Dad?
why did you lie to me?
You just couldn't be truthful. No of course not. The only good memories I have of us are when you were trying to destroy your life. Amy i've cried a thousand tears for you, but now I don't haven even one.
Why do you think that is amy? Why?
I'm done being the "older" sister when i'm the younger sister. I wish you would change your life, but I know you won't. Nor have you tried. Only God can help you now.
Because i'm done trying.
why did you try that again?
Why would you go back to the boy who tried killing you?
AMY WHY?!
Why can't you think on your own?
Why do you hurt yourself?
Why did you lie to Dad?
why did you lie to me?
You just couldn't be truthful. No of course not. The only good memories I have of us are when you were trying to destroy your life. Amy i've cried a thousand tears for you, but now I don't haven even one.
Why do you think that is amy? Why?
I'm done being the "older" sister when i'm the younger sister. I wish you would change your life, but I know you won't. Nor have you tried. Only God can help you now.
Because i'm done trying.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Oh how i fall
more in love with you God.
Every single day of every single minute.
I fall more and more in love with you. forever <3
Every single day of every single minute.
I fall more and more in love with you. forever <3
Where are all the accusers?
Where are the people that accuse me?
The ones who beat me down and bruise me
They hide, just out of sight
Can’t face me in the light
They’ll return, but I’ll be stronger
God i want to dream again
Take me where I’ve never been
I want to go there
This time I’m not scared
Now I am unbreakable
It’s unmistakable
No one can touch me
Nothing can stop me
Sometimes it’s hard to just keep going
But faith is moving without knowing
Can I trust what I can’t see
to reach my destiny?
I want to take control, but I know better
God i want to dream again
Take me where I’ve never been
I want to go there
This time I’m not scared
Now I am unbreakable
It’s unmistakable
No one can touch me
Nothing can stop me
Forget the fear, it’s just a crutch
That tries to hold you back and turn your dreams to dust
All you need to do is just *trust
(trust, trust, trust)*
God i want to dream again
Take me where I’ve never been
I want to go there
This time I’m not scared
Now I am unbreakable
It’s unmistakable
No one can touch me
Nothing can stop me
God i want to dream again (I want to dream again!)
Take me where I’ve never been
I want to go there (I wanna go there)
This time I’m not scared
Now I am unbreakable (I am unbreakable!)
It’s unmistakable
No one can touch me (No one can touch me!)
Nothing can stop me
I really love this song.
It's amazing
It's cool
and it means alot to me.
The ones who beat me down and bruise me
They hide, just out of sight
Can’t face me in the light
They’ll return, but I’ll be stronger
God i want to dream again
Take me where I’ve never been
I want to go there
This time I’m not scared
Now I am unbreakable
It’s unmistakable
No one can touch me
Nothing can stop me
Sometimes it’s hard to just keep going
But faith is moving without knowing
Can I trust what I can’t see
to reach my destiny?
I want to take control, but I know better
God i want to dream again
Take me where I’ve never been
I want to go there
This time I’m not scared
Now I am unbreakable
It’s unmistakable
No one can touch me
Nothing can stop me
Forget the fear, it’s just a crutch
That tries to hold you back and turn your dreams to dust
All you need to do is just *trust
(trust, trust, trust)*
God i want to dream again
Take me where I’ve never been
I want to go there
This time I’m not scared
Now I am unbreakable
It’s unmistakable
No one can touch me
Nothing can stop me
God i want to dream again (I want to dream again!)
Take me where I’ve never been
I want to go there (I wanna go there)
This time I’m not scared
Now I am unbreakable (I am unbreakable!)
It’s unmistakable
No one can touch me (No one can touch me!)
Nothing can stop me
I really love this song.
It's amazing
It's cool
and it means alot to me.
Monday, October 6, 2008
Thank You
God for everyone here at Masters.
For letting me not go home last night, and stay with them to watch the Steelers Game (even though i'm a Giants Fan).
For finally spilling my guts to why I was down all yesterday (after church)
For letting me not go home last night, and stay with them to watch the Steelers Game (even though i'm a Giants Fan).
For finally spilling my guts to why I was down all yesterday (after church)
Sunday, October 5, 2008
I really really really....
Love it here. So why is it that today I want to run away and just leave? I've been down all day. I haven't smiled and that's not normal. God what's with me today?
It's like i've forgotten who i am.
It's like I've been abandoned
It's like no one likes me and just wants tp punch me out.
It's like I'm under attack.
It's like I'm lost
It's like I really need GOD.
It's like I really need a hug.
It's like I really want a hug.
God, I really need your help!
God, I really want help!
God, HELP ME PLEASE!!!
It's like i've forgotten who i am.
It's like I've been abandoned
It's like no one likes me and just wants tp punch me out.
It's like I'm under attack.
It's like I'm lost
It's like I really need GOD.
It's like I really need a hug.
It's like I really want a hug.
God, I really need your help!
God, I really want help!
God, HELP ME PLEASE!!!
Saturday, October 4, 2008
All for love the father gave <3
So today is the Bethelem human video which includes Addison, Leah, Jason, Heather, Beth and Me! Last night I couldn't sleep well, and I'm not sure if it was because I'm so nervous or that I was under attack. Well the only thing I know is that I called out to God the Whole night. Everytime I woke up I just said "God, let this human video go well and let my spirit have ease so that I can sleep". That's it. I actually woke up a little early this morning. If I wanted to I could of slept til 6:25 and took a shower and left and still made it to the church on time.
Well since that didn't happen, I'm going to go get a coffee and sit at the church.
Bye <3
Well since that didn't happen, I'm going to go get a coffee and sit at the church.
Bye <3
Friday, October 3, 2008
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Today...
Tonight is one of those nights where I feel like i'm not worth anything and i'll never be good enough.& you know what. That is a lie. I am worth it and I will not only be good enough but i will be Beyond good enough. I know i'll make it and I know God loves me.
So why am i feeling like this?
Lord, help me to not feel like this and not believe the lies that Satan is trying to place in my head. I love you lord.
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