I was reading my past blogs, and I came upon one that I wrote in September 2008. It was a vision I got during Prayer once. I know that GMC doesn't read this but I still will Blog. Sorry ahead of time if i curse but i'm letting it out.
The vision i once had was this..Every time my heart beat a light shot out like ripples in the water. And It wasn't shining bright nor was it going far and God's voice said "Daughter, this is how your light is". And with hearing that I started crying. The voice simple said so sweetly "This is how I want it to be" and with that my light shone brighter and went farther.
This vision, I let go of. I got involved with a boy who broke me, and took me away from something that I worked for, fought for, and bled for. I went thru late night crying sessions, to staying up at night gnashing my teeth and shaking my fist. I worked to where God wanted me to be.
He put me in the next step of walking with him and instead of going foward I WENT BACKWARDS. How can I ever forgive myself or even trust myself again.
I miss feeling God. I miss feeling unconditional love from God. I miss being a warrior, and fighting battles for me and my future and my future family. What happened to me?
I'm lost :(
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1 comment:
I love you lady.
Wish you'd come back to us.
Just return to your first love. God won't leave you lost if you're ready to surrender all to him.
<33333
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